Making friends can be exciting for some children and challenging for others. A child may want to play with other children but not know how to start a conversation, join a game, take turns, or respond when another child disagrees with them.
If your child struggles to make friends, it does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. Children develop social and communication skills at different rates, and some simply need more opportunities, guidance and practice.
The good news is that social skills can be supported through everyday play, conversations and structured activities. Parents can create simple situations at home that help children practise the skills they need to feel more comfortable around peers.
Why Do Some Children Struggle to Make Friends?
Friendship involves several skills working together. A child may find one part of social interaction easy but have difficulty with another.
Some children may struggle with:
- Starting or maintaining a conversation
- Understanding what another child is saying
- Knowing how to join a group
- Taking turns during play
- Sharing toys or materials
- Understanding facial expressions and emotions
- Responding appropriately to other people’s feelings
- Coping when another child says “no”
- Handling disagreements
- Waiting for their turn
- Following group rules
- Knowing what to say in unfamiliar situations
- Managing strong emotions during social interactions
Temperament can also play a role. A child who is naturally shy may need more time to become comfortable in a new group, while another child may be eager to interact but have difficulty understanding social boundaries.
The important thing is to look at the specific skill your child is finding difficult rather than simply labelling them as “bad at making friends.”
What Social Skills Are Needed to Make Friends?
Friendships are built through many small social behaviours. Some of the most important skills include:
Communication
Children need opportunities to express what they want, ask questions, answer others and communicate their ideas.
Listening
Good conversations involve listening as well as speaking. Children can learn to wait, listen to another person and respond to what was said.
Turn-Taking
Games and conversations require children to take turns. Learning to wait and give someone else a turn is an important part of cooperative play.
Sharing and Cooperation
Children often need to share toys, materials, space and attention when playing together.
Emotional Understanding
Recognising emotions in themselves and others can help children respond more appropriately during social situations.
Flexibility
Friendship does not always go according to plan. Children may need to cope when another child chooses a different game, changes the rules or disagrees with them.
Problem-Solving
Children can gradually learn how to handle common situations such as disagreements over toys, deciding what game to play or resolving a misunderstanding.
How to Help a Child Make Friends
Parents don’t need to turn every interaction into a formal lesson. Many social skills can be practiced naturally through everyday activities.
1. Start With One Child at a Time
Large groups can feel overwhelming for some children. If your child finds group situations difficult, start with a short play session involving one familiar child.
A smaller interaction can provide more opportunities to practice:
- Greeting
- Sharing
- Taking turns
- Asking questions
- Responding
- Cooperative play
Choose an activity that both children enjoy so they have something natural to do together.
2. Practice How to Join a Game
Knowing how to approach children who are already playing can be difficult.
Practise simple phrases at home, such as:
“Can I play too?”
“What are you playing?”
“Can I have a turn?”
Use role play to practise different responses. You can pretend to be another child and allow your child to practise approaching you.
The aim is not for your child to memorise a perfect sentence. It is to give them a few practical options they can use when they are unsure what to say.
3. Use Role Play for Common Friendship Situations
Role play allows children to practise social situations in a comfortable environment.
You could act out situations such as:
- Meeting a new child
- Asking someone to play
- Sharing a favourite toy
- Waiting for a turn
- Losing a game
- Someone saying “no”
- Disagreeing about what to play
- Apologising after an argument
- Asking for help
After each scenario, discuss what the characters could say or do next.
4. Teach Turn-Taking Through Games
Simple games provide natural opportunities to practise waiting, listening and taking turns.
Try:
- Board games
- Card games
- Passing a ball
- Building activities
- Simple matching games
- Taking turns choosing songs or stories
Use clear language such as:
“It’s your turn now. I’ll wait.”
Gradually encourage your child to recognise whose turn it is without needing constant reminders.
5. Encourage Cooperative Play
Instead of always giving children separate activities, try projects that require them to work together.
For example, two children could:
- Build a tower together
- Complete a puzzle
- Make a craft
- Create a pretend restaurant
- Build a toy city
- Make up a story together
Ask questions such as:
“What should we build together?”
“What can you do, and what can your friend do?”
This encourages communication and shared decision-making.
6. Help Your Child Recognise Other People’s Feelings
Children can practice identifying emotions through books, pictures, games and everyday situations.
Ask:
- “How do you think she feels?”
- “What happened that made him upset?”
- “What could we do to help?”
- “Have you ever felt like that?”
Start with familiar emotions such as happy, sad, angry, scared and excited before discussing more complicated feelings.
Avoid expecting children to correctly identify another person’s feelings every time. Use these conversations as opportunities to build understanding.
7. Teach Conversation Skills Through Everyday Questions
Some children may know how to answer questions but find it difficult to keep a conversation going.
Practise simple conversation patterns:
Ask → Listen → Respond → Ask another question
For example:
Child: “I played football.”
Parent: “Who did you play with?”
Child: “My friends.”
Parent: “What position did you play?”
Keep conversations connected to your child’s interests. Topics that genuinely interest them can make communication practice more enjoyable.
8. Use Your Child’s Interests
A child’s favourite activity can become an excellent starting point for social interaction.
If your child enjoys:
- Cars
- Animals
- Drawing
- Building
- Music
- Sports
- Puzzles
- Stories
use those interests to create opportunities for shared play.
For example, a child who loves animals could invite another child to create a pretend zoo together.
Shared interests can make it easier for children to find something to talk about and do together.
9. Teach Flexible Thinking
Friendships involve unexpected situations.
A child may want to play with a particular toy, but another child may choose something else. A game may not go according to their expectations.
Instead of immediately solving the problem for your child, ask:
“What else could we do?”
“What could you say?”
“Can you think of another game?”
Giving children opportunities to consider different solutions can support flexible thinking and problem-solving.
10. Practise Handling “No”
Being told “no” can be difficult for children.
Role-play situations where another child does not want to play or share a particular toy.
Practise responses such as:
- “Okay, maybe later.”
- “Can I play something else?”
- “What would you like to play?”
- “I’ll find another activity.”
The goal is not to teach children to ignore their own feelings. It is to help them learn appropriate ways to respond when social interactions do not go as expected.
Social Skills Activities to Do at Home
Parents can use simple activities at home to practise friendship skills.
1. Emotion Charades
Take turns acting out emotions and guessing them.
Builds: emotional awareness and observation.
2. Cooperative Building
Build something together using blocks or construction toys.
Builds: communication, cooperation and turn-taking.
3. Story Completion
One person starts a story and the other person continues it.
Builds: listening, conversation and imagination.
4. Puppet Conversations
Use puppets or toys to act out friendship situations.
Builds: communication and problem-solving.
5. “What Would You Do?” Games
Describe a social situation and ask your child what they could do.
Builds: decision-making and social problem-solving.
6. Family Board Games
Play age-appropriate games that involve taking turns and following rules.
Builds: patience, cooperation and handling different outcomes.
7. Follow-the-Leader
Take turns being the leader.
Builds: attention, imitation and turn-taking.
8. Collaborative Drawing
Create one picture together rather than making separate drawings.
Builds: sharing, cooperation and communication.
How Therapy Can Support Children's Social Development
Social development can involve several areas of childhood development, which is why support may sometimes involve more than one type of professional.
Depending on a child’s individual needs:
Occupational Therapy
Occupational therapy may support functional skills involved in participation, play, self-care, sensory processing and everyday activities.
Speech and Language Therapy
Speech and language therapy can support communication skills, including understanding and using language and aspects of social communication.
Behavioural Therapy
Behavioural approaches may help children practise specific skills and develop strategies for navigating everyday situations.
Sensory Integration Support
For children whose participation is affected by sensory processing differences, sensory-focused support may form part of an individualised therapy plan.
A multidisciplinary approach can be particularly useful when a child’s social difficulties occur alongside communication, sensory, behavioural or developmental concerns.
Helping Your Child Build Meaningful Connections
Learning to make friends is a gradual process. Children need opportunities to practise communicating, listening, sharing, cooperating, understanding emotions and solving everyday social problems.
The most effective support is usually patient, consistent and tailored to the individual child.
Start with one manageable skill, practise it through enjoyable activities and recognise your child’s efforts along the way. If you have broader concerns about your child’s communication, behaviour, sensory processing or development, professional assessment can help you understand their needs and identify appropriate support.
At Sensoria Child Development Centre, children can access multidisciplinary support based on their individual developmental needs, including occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, behavioural support, sensory-focused interventions and developmental assessment.
If you are concerned about your child’s social development, speaking with a qualified child-development professional can be a useful next step.
Frequently Asked Questions
Start by identifying the specific social skill your child finds difficult. Practise through role play, games and everyday interactions. Small playdates, shared interests and cooperative activities can provide manageable opportunities to practise communication and friendship skills.
Useful activities include role play, turn-taking games, emotion activities, storytelling, cooperative building, puppet play, board games and “What Would You Do?” scenarios. The best activity depends on the child’s age, developmental level, interests and individual needs.
Start with familiar people and smaller social situations. Give your child time to observe and become comfortable, practise simple conversation starters at home and arrange short play opportunities around activities they enjoy.
Some children want social interaction but find specific parts of it difficult, such as starting conversations, joining games, taking turns, understanding social cues or handling disagreements. Identifying the specific challenge can make it easier to choose appropriate strategies.
Not every child who struggles socially needs professional intervention. However, if difficulties are persistent, affect everyday participation, or occur alongside communication, sensory, behavioural or developmental concerns, consider discussing them with a qualified child-development professional
Read more
How to Help a Child Who Struggles to Make Friends: A Parent’s Guide
What Is Pediatric Therapy? A Complete Guide for Parents
